Wednesday, June 19, 2013

I Digress.....

Nothing can humble a woman like swim suit shopping! 

I put this task off as long as possible covering my poor-fitting suit with a black cover-up, never daring to take it off. This year I decided I should at least make an effort to get something cute, comfortable, yet not too revealing. 

Once at the store I started going through the racks of various suits. Soon I was joined by two other women. We chorused the same sentiment of how disheartening this experience was while holding up various suits to ridicule! Ah, comrades in misery!

Finally armed with three bottoms and 7 or 8 tops, I trudged to the dressing room. Squeezing into the first bottom and I stood back to assess the results and, after an initial shock, discovered the size on the bottom was smaller than the size on the hanger, whew! Since none of these bottoms fit like I wanted, I decided to try on tops instead.

It was at this time an epic battled ensued as I wrestled into the first top. A full 2 or 3 minutes later I gazed into the full-length, 3 way mirror....and boy was I a sight to behold! There stood a grandmotherly lady with disheveled hair jammed into an extremely tight suit, lumps and bumps everywhere but where they should be! It was horrifying! 

Next  I tried to remove the top over my head only to find it stuck in a roll under my arms! I decided I had to pull it down in order to get it off. That worked a little better. I was able to witness the ultimate stretch of the fabric as it slid over my hips on the way down! 

I tried a few more of the first batch of tops without much better luck. They all covered me in various ways, none of them attractively ! I spent 5 minutes getting dressed to go out and begin round two. 

This time I gathered larger bottoms and tops, even one big swim dress!  I marched back to the dressing room determined to try on every suit in the store until I found something that worked!

Round two went a little better. The suits were bigger and I had learned some techniques of tug-of-war! I walked out of that dressing room with a tank top and swim shorts and my head held high! 

Overall I was in that store 2 hours trying on swim suits! Tired, yet victorious, I walked out with a bag in my hand and a smile on my face! I wondered if the other two women I met had had the fortitude to see the task through to the end or if they left defeated, destined to wear shorts and a tee shirt to the coast!